little feet, big sky

I went to the breastfeeding support group at the Pump Station on Vine this afternoon and was so glad that I did. I don’t think Spice and I are really having too much trouble, other than the constant spitting up and my worrying that it was something I ate, but it was so nice to be around other new moms going through the same things. More than I realized it would be.

The class at the Vine location is Mondays and Tuesdays at 1pm for 0-4 month-olds. The first class is free; after that, they’re $15/each. The women seemed quite diverse and there’s a lactation consultant running the meeting to answer any questions, etc. I have to admit, she did a good job of answering questions textbook-style and then opening the conversation for everyone else to offer tips or advice. It was great for encouragement and support, especially for some of the women who seemed to think their problem (ie. nursing constantly, milk supply, etc.) was theirs alone.

Okay, breastfeeding is tough. Don’t be fooled by those idyllic pictures of bebe perfectly latched on in a cradle cuddle and peacefully nursing. Because for most women, myself included, that is so not how it starts out, at least.

Spice started out nursing from birth like a dream. Now, on days like this, it feels like our nursing future is headed for hell. She’s picked up this nasty habit in the last few days of opening her mouth and rooting back and forth frantically while the nipple is in her mouth. It takes a while for her to figure out to clamp down and start sucking and I have no idea how/why she’s doing this. Additionally, she sucks for maybe 20 seconds, then backs off and squirms, then starts over with the open-mouthed rooting over the nipple. It takes a good 5 minutes for her to figure out to stay latched on, and it’s driving me crazy!

Add to that she doesn’t burp easy and spits up almost a full feeding if she isn’t burped properly. That she has killer gas and almost every feeding results in at least an hour of the poor thing writhing in agony trying to get it out one end or the other.

From random googling, one possibility is that I have an overactive letdown, and while she starts out hungry, the milk is coming too fast for her and she backs off, then attacks again in hunger. All the advice for this mentions pulling her off for the letdown and letting it spray into a towel or burp cloth. But I tried this and I’m barely dripping during letdown. *sigh*

Failing that, I’m sometimes convinced it’s something I’m eating. We have a bad day (or night) and I swear I’m cutting out dairy and then we have a few great days and I stupidly cave in to rice pudding/yogurt/milk. This is followed by another bad day or night and I’m left kicking myself for not sticking with the no-dairy because it just makes it more confusing trying to figure out what’s causing her discomfort.

I’m going bats and on days like this, I’m left swearing to the spouse that I can’t do it, that it’s just not working, etc. I can see now why something like 40% give up breastfeeding in the first two weeks. Between the hormones, the sleep shortage, the labor recovery, sometimes it feels downright impossible to continue and that’s with having a complication-free labor and a healthy term baby!

On a slightly more humorous note, I learned the hard way just how all sorts of things end up in breastmilk. I was taking my prenatal vitamins and my previously-customary fish oil supplement and was rewarded with two days of fishy breastmilk and spit-up! Those of you that know spit-up know that rather than landing neatly in the middle of a burp cloth, it’s more likely to end up on the baby’s clothes, your clothes, bedsheets, etc. And about the same with leaking breastmilk. All we have for detergent is un-dyed, un-fragranced stuff, so it took about 3 hot water washes and indoor sunlight drying to get the smell out. Never, never again. *shudder*

I haven’t made it to a La Leche League meeting yet, but I hope to hit one in the Hollywood area within the next month. In the meantime, I’ve been getting my fill of breastfeeding stories from The Breastfeeding Cafe by Barbara L. Behrmann.

They say the best things for a new mother starting out breastfeeding is the help of a good lactation consultant and the support of other breastfeeding mothers. While there’s no replacing the lactation consultant, I highly recommend this book for anyone looking to nurse, whether you’re lacking in breastfeeding companions or not.

The stories are both humorous and heartwarming, poignant and rousing. There’s the story of Savannah (pg. 86), born with a traumatic skin condition, being sustained on donated breast milk for the first year of her life to receive the proper antibodies. There’s the frustrating story from Susan in St. Louis (pg. 114) who had to argue with her pediatrician over proper treatment for her & her son over a case of thrush. And, my favorite, the incredible, heartmelting story from Anjelina in Washington (pg. 283) about weaning and what to do with the last stash of breastmilk in the freezer.

I know that for some things in life, you can never be fully prepared until it happens, but that never stops me from trying to find out as much as I can well in advance. I have a few “informational” breastfeedings books, about technique, recognizing problems, etc., but wanted more exposure to other womens’ personal experiences. I know very few breastfeeding mothers offline, and The Breastfeeding Cafe has been a great read in being honest about frustrations, challenges, joys and rewards of breastfeeding your child.

• Buy The Breastfeeding Cafe on Amazon. $15.
• Check out the companion site, breastfeedingcafe.com.
• Read the book review from La Leche League.
• Find out more about breastfeeding or find a local meeting through La Leche League.

At the next light, I glanced over again and the guy was gesturing to me. I rolled down my window and he yelled “Hey, what does your license plate mean?”

(For those who weren’t here when I showed it, it says “LACTVST”)

“It says “Lactivist” which means breastfeeding advocate,” I said.

“That’s what I thought,” he replied. “I called my wife when I saw it, she’s an advocate too and says to tell you ‘you rock!.’” – Awesome Lactivist Moment, The Lactivist

Sometimes, I just like swaggy things – you know, things that are probably not neccessary to get the job done, but make it a hell of a lot more fun/interesting/easy. Like using a small ice cream scoop to make perfect drops of cookie dough. Or a hand blender to puree a soup right in the pot.

That’s how I keep eyeing these nursing tops by . I live in tank tops, especially ones with the built-in shelf “bra”, and I think these would be perfect while nursing.

There’s a little clasp halfway between your breast and shoulder that releases and your breast pokes out from a hole in a second layer. That second layer has a bit of support and the flap in front has a mesh lining for holding nursing pads.

They have a variety of tank tops ($34 -$39), including long tank tops (I like those), a long-sleeved shirt ($44), a knee-length slip dress ($44), and even a tankini 2-pc. swimsuit ($54). Shipping seems reasonable at $5 within the U.S., though they do seem to have a signature-required policy for 4 or more items.

Lactation consultant Diane Wiessinger offers the following analogy: take two magnets and hold them far apart. There is no tension between them. This is similar to a detached style of bottle-feeding. Now, stick the magnets together. Again, there is no tension. This represents an attached style of breastfeeding. Now hold the magnets a little distance apart, but don’t let them snap together. There is a huge tension between them. It’s exhausting to keep the magnets at that close-but-not-too-close distance and you’re glad when you’re finally allowed to keep them farther apart. This is what it means to breastfeed like a bottle-feeder, she says. It’s hard work, a kind of martyrdom, not a kind of joy.

Making Breastfeeding Harder