little feet, big sky

I feel so useless lately. I know the whole “taking care of a whole person” bit, but I can’t help but feel that I’m just not accomplishing enough. And frustrated because I don’t have the time or energy to get more done. Work is pretty much shot. I might spend an hour with my hand in actual code, but that included hours spent in my head working out the problems first – and my head is nowhere near clear enough to do that. I have an attention span “the length of a flea’s nose”, as an old friend used to say. I consider the spouse lucky if I follow him talking for more than five minutes. All my mind can think of is baby, and other than that, my demeanor is pretty vapid most of the time. How on earth is this a biological survival skill??

At this point I’m capable of the following: eating, sleeping, showering, feeding baby, changing diapers, bathing baby, playing “wiggle out the farts” with baby, doing laundry and limited driving. Okay, so some days I only eat about 600 calories and I’m often so spaced while driving that I make myself say the color of the stoplight out loud before the intersection. Still, right now, that’s about all I can manage.

I’ve recently added knitting back to this list. Knitting usually takes more brain cells for me than crochet, but lately I’ve been on auto-pilot with it. The whole “sleep when the baby sleeps” thing doesn’t work for me because I don’t easily sleep with daylight and she rarely sleeps long enough for me to get in a nap, too. So I’ve found that twitter and knitting are both things I can do in 20 – 30 minutes chunks, between her and some laundry and maybe a cup of tea. I’ve finished a baby vest, and am almost done with some gorgeous wristwarmers that I’ll probably sell on Etsy. Next up are some scarves, a wool diaper wrap and perhaps a pair of socks. The other morning, I photographed many (but not all) pieces of my copious yarn stash to list on Ravelry. This made me realize just how much good yarn I have that needs to be knitted into something useful… hence, the knitting spell.

If you knit or crochet and you’re on Ravelry, check out my notebook and send me a hello! I’m also on twitter and always looking for new friends to follow.