baby update
Ahh. I have an hour free before the next feeding and diaper change. Not enough to take a shower such and such; if I wait until after the next feeding, I’ll have about an hour and a half, so I’ll wait! :-)
We’ve given her a name, but I’ll just be calling her Spice for the online world, as she is definitely the spice of our life! (Extra, extra cheese, just for you.) Here’s the postpartum rundown:
- Day 1 (Tuesday): Discharged from Cedars-Sinai. Had discharge orders for myself a few hours after delivery, but we needed to have Spice seen by the pediatrician before she could leave and he wouldn’t be in until 9am the next morning. Got home and the spouse had a hard time finding the house keys! Rummaged through all the bags and thought he’d left them in the hospital room. Called a nearby friend that had an extra key to come let us in. I must have still been on an epi high because I was totally chill. Took a shower, the first one since Sunday night. Blessed, blessed shower.
- Day 2: Technically an extension of Day 1, since Spice and I only catnapped between feedings. Not really tired-tired yet. Expected my nipples to be more sore than this. Maybe breastfeeding isn’t so bad… Midwife came by, everything looks good, weight in cloth diaper: 7lbs 8oz. Spouse headed out to pick up mother-in-law who will be staying for a month. Was gone six hours, running “errands” on the way home! Managed a pee break with Spice propped up in boppy, but that was it. Hadn’t eaten more than granola and milk for breakfast before he left and some Rowntree fruit pastilles that were by the bed while he was gone. (Tried to make an instant packet of seaweed salad, but that was a potshot.) Broke down crying when he got home. Got a huge apology and hugs and cuddles and a promise that he would try and be more attentive.
- Day 3: Have a routine at night: feed, change, put to sleep in bassinet setup in bed, sit and read through random things in the Baby Book and the Breastfeeding Book, eat bedside munchies, drink water, nap until next feeding, repeat. Milk/colostrum changing. Spice was a bit more fussy through the night, probably from the transitional milk. Wondering when milk will “come in” and about engorgement. Still-tired-spouse went to office for a few hours and then to Babies R Us to pick up breastpump to help in case of engorgement. Was gone again insanely long time. No tears this time, but had a talk that I just want him around for a day, lounging in bed, catching up on sleep, no work, no MiL, no visitors. Spouse agrees – will stay home for a few days.
- Day 4: Oh, god, this is what engorgement is – instant boob job! Hard rocks on my relatively small chest, this is insane! Talked to midwife and figured out to feed Spice, then pump off excess. Relief! Sister stopped by with noodles and dim sum, yay! Was really nice to see her.
- Day 5: Stayed in bed all day with the spouse. Ate watermelon. Change, feed, sleep, change, feed, sleep.
Day 6 (today). I plan on more staying in bed with the spouse today. :-) The MiL is fine by herself downstairs for another day or two, and with my mother coming later in the week, I want as much alone time with him and Spice as possible before then.
My sister and I just agreed last night that perhaps it would be better for my mother to stay with her while she’s here, than here with us. She can drive over during the day for as long as we’re up and then drive back at night. It’s strange how the best plans made while pregnant feel so wrong postpartum. I even regret agreeing to the MiL coming to stay with us for a whole month. With her, it’s just that she’s not quite my mother; she’s a bit more distant, not quite as helpful as I’d hoped, and it feels more like having a houseguest than family. With my own mother, I think she’ll be fine for short periods during the day, but if she was here at night, I could just imagine her charging up the stairs for every diaper-change-cry, wanting to “fix things” herself. Well-meaning, but combined with postpartum hormones, bound to set me off.
Speaking of which, I want to mention before I forget, postpartum “blues” are no joke. Just like the random bouts of pregnancy irritability, I feel this overwhelming grey fog from time to time that I just can’t explain or rationalize away. It’s frustrating because I love Spice and I love the spouse and I’m aware that it’s hormonal and there’s no logical reason to feel that sad depression, but it’s like I just can’t cheer myself up. I have some Eddie Izzard DVDs – maybe I’ll try watching some clips later today. They do say that laughter is the best medicine.
